Battling Brats

I have 2 daughters - 16months apart in age and for the last 6 months I can't leave them alone in a room without World War III looming large.

Now they both have major attitudes on them, but the eldest is driving me to distraction. She is lazy and bolshy, constantly accusing people of 'put-downers' if they mention any of her weaknesses. Now don't get me wrong she is a clever little miss, but if I don't constantly check and then nag, she either doesn't do her school work, or she spends 5minutes doing the minimum to scrape by. That coupled with a complete unwillingness to help at all around the house (no dusting, picking up after herself, tidying her own room etc) leaves me spitting mad much of the time.

The little one is cunning, and I think she is using the situation to her advantage. It is not difficult when her sister is doing her best to remind me of an orc or other fantasy denizen from the dark side. To balance this I have caught my little paradigm of virtue stealing, lying and fighting in the past 12 month. She just has more sense than to fight me ....... most of the time.

So what is the answer - well I don't know, but I have decided to try some serious discipline before it is too late. My 4-point plan is:

1. Privileges are earned not a right. This means both children are currently grounded
2. Chores must be done or there will be punishment. Currently I am giving them chores (like cleaning their room) in 1-2hour chunks they are then given until I get home from work to complete them (at least 8 hours) otherwise they get punished. The chores are very clearly defined for them to avoid the shifting of junk from one place to another
3. Each child has a project to complete during the holidays - eldest has 100pages to do on France as she is going their in September with the school, if she doesn't do it I will take £1 off her spending money for every page under 100 (so she is now trying to negotiate additional money if she exceeds 100, to be honest that will depend on the quality of the work). The youngest only has 50pages on fashion to do, there is no punishment, but I think she will actually really enjoy it (and so does she)
4. Mom vouchers - rather than giving them money they earn vouchers with the vouchers being worth either cash or money towards trips (1.5 x the cash value). This will reduce the way they spend all their money on sweets and also hopefully make them appreciate all the trips they get to go on. 

Hopefully this will have the desired effect. The eldest is also being referred to a behaviour specialist by the doctor as the school think she might be Aspergers.

Finally to finish this on a happier note both daughters are currently engaged in a ceasefire while making jam tarts. (or they were - got to fly the bullets have started again).

Why?

Why sounds like it could be a really deep blog, but it isn't.

The question is directed at myself. I would like to write a book. I have the idea for a book, hell I spend most of my waking hours 'living' flashes of the story. But I 'can't' write it down. I am afraid that if I write it down it won't be as good as I have 'seen', that I will fail to capture the essence, that it will prove that I can't write after all.

That's it

My Dad

There was a thread up in The Coffee Shop Forum entitled tell me about your father........ and I was going to, right up to the moment someone drops the bombshell that their dad took their virginity when they were 4......... that is not really a story I want to follow ........ so let me tell you about my dad.

When I was little my dad was my hero, he could do no wrong in my eyes, he taught me so many things, most importantly he taught me to think and how to learn

In my teens he began to lose it, he divorced my mum, then married and got custody of me and my siblings, then divorced, then married, then divorced.
He nearly killed me one night with his hands round my throat slowly squeezing the life out of me, the realisation that I couldn't hurt him even to save myself; my sister and wife 3 screaming until he stopped. And all because I tried to stop him hitting, no beating my little brother.
Screaming rows, beatings cos of things other people had done, friends scared for us and checking we got home safely.
Dad calling my thick, and a whore, telling me that he would never let me go, so I left and ran as fast as I could - away from him even though I was only 17 and still in school.

No contact with my dad for several years while I put myself through school. Hard years, no room for softness, then or now.

In my twenties we rebuilt a fragile relationship and I realised he had a drink problem and always had. He dated a woman, my age and a heroin addict. I don't meet her she is afraid to face me, but I don't understand why.
Twenties blur into thirties - a panicked call and an 80 mile drive through a blizzard to find out he is all right. Other times the beatings by her dealers he is just and old man. Until he moves, my sister whisks him to safety and he betrays her; moves the addict in; my sister evicts her father.
The heroin addict falls/throws herself from a 3rd floor window smashing both legs to be on crutches forever. Crutches which she uses to beat my dad. I hate her, but he will not leave her and it is not my choice.

A call in the winter - he was beaten and unconscious all night in the snow, frozen to death, no heart beat when they found him, he will not live. So this time I drive 300miles to be at his side and he lives. It is a miracle, he lives and he is himself, so they let him out and let him back to her ................

Until he was found again in the spring, no freezing night, no stopped heart, no going back either ............... my dad's body is alive, but my dad is dead and has been more than a year now ................ he did lots wrong, but he gifted me many things as well, and although every time I see him I tell him, I know it is too late .... Dad, I love you and I forgive you

Shinju

Sweet Treats

Suffering from being seriously broke until payday I thought I know I will try out this recipe I have found for lemon cookies (Lemon Cookies). I am sure I have everything in the cupboard.


Now 2 weeks (ish) ago on payday I bought 2kg of granulated sugar. Checked the cupboard today and I have about 2 tablespoons left. After ranting at children about waste and the amount of sugar they eat (Hubby and I don't generally use sugar) I decided to try using brown sugar instead. No butter in the fridge, but I do have Stork so I am hoping that works, and a serious lack of lemon juice means I have gone for lime juice instead. So in reality the recipe is nothing like the one above I linked. Once the dough has finished chilling so I can cook it that it I will let you know whether the 'small' changes I have made spoil the taste.

A prayer to St Jude - the Patron Saint of Lost Causes

Well I am desperate - for some cash - now that might seem a bit shallow to some of you, but when you have 2 children and a sick husband and precisely £2.08 in your purse to feed you all until the end of the month, you might understand.

So here goes:
O most holy apostle, St. Jude, faithful servant and friend of Jesus -- People honor and invoke you universally, as the patron of hopeless cases, of things almost despaired of. Pray for me, for I am so helpless and alone. 
Please help to bring me visible and speedy assistance. Come to my assistance in this great need that I may receive the consolation and help of heaven in all my necessities, tribulations, and sufferings, particularly enough to feed and care for my family and that I may praise God with you always. 
I promise, O blessed St. Jude, to be ever mindful of this great favor, to always honor you as my special and powerful patron, and to gratefully encourage devotion to you by publishing this request. Amen

Because

Okay I have started this blog because the other two blogs are clearly themed and I think of things I want to vent about and they don't fit ........... and because I can .......... and because I want to.......... and because I got really cross in The Coffee Shop (blog help area) this morning due to negative responses full of swearwords for what appeared to me to be the sake of foreplay.

Now if I want heavy I blog - for me the coffee shop is about a more superficial communication...... and I ended up not wanting to leave comments cos I didn't want the response, and it will be a long time before I put a question up in there again ........ okay my question was all wrong but the response to my clarification was unnecessary......

Anyway I am going to watch more and interact less ......... and if I feel that way there are some people who will decide not to interact at all.

Rant over